By Fatima Haroon
See, when I was six, I realized he was a dick
I did not have the words to curse, but trust me, in him I saw the worst
He was reckless and made me feel feckless
He was mean and never cared to ask this angry teen what she had seen
He was a liar and even when the situation was dire, he would act as a bullshit based compiler
Soon came a time when I felt done
And I mean, really done
And so, one day, in the middle of night, came a time when I felt it was my time
And I said:
To be a father is not an attainment when the shiny medal you wear is one of detachment
Love is not a store bought can of soup that you can heat up to end up with a coup
You might think you’ve won, but you’ve lost a ton;
Like me, for one
And you won’t get her back cause this time, you’re done
By What You Do
To be awake while sleeping on your dreams
To be tired while procrastinating over the task of carving out your true self out of a block of insecurities
To be worried while being satisfied with things as they are just because it’s ‘easier’ that way
To be hungry while licking off the sauces of TedTalks and Goalcast videos about how they made it happen
That is not what you were born to do
You are here for the same reason the Sun is;
To burn bright in all its brilliance to illuminate the world with the glistening rays of who you are and by what you do;
Not by what you can do
Not by what you should do
Not by what you will do
But simply, by what you do
I think it’s equally, if not more, important to use your voice to, not only share your love for what you do, but to also share your story because you never know who, in what part of the world, has, is, or will be going through what you went through and maybe, just maybe, them knowing that they are not alone will give them the strength and courage to push through like you did
Going off to college has allowed me to explore more than just text books and research proposals because I have a chance look at the rawness within myself and carve it out the best way I know how.
Growing up with an emotionally abusive biological father really changed the way I look at the role of fathers, men and the world. Not to say I think all those things are evil, but I’ve had my reasons to be overly critical and protective of myself around everyone and everything.
So, if you’re someone who rolls her eyes over mushy Fathers Day posts. If you’re someone who ‘can’t go with a flow’ and has her ‘head up in the clouds because her standards are too damn high’
If you’re someone who ‘never forgets’ and is hence, ‘too soft’. If you’re someone who has ‘daddy issues’ and are causally mocked about it by guy at college parties.
I’m just here to tell you, it’s okay and in fact, more than okay to feel that way. There’s is no reason to feel apologetic towards those who judge your story that’s not even theirs to begin with
You have every right to feel what you feel and to not let anyone have the power to come in and validate it for you. So, know you’re not alone and you’re not wrong because you never are.
My other piece is essentially based of pushing through fears and procrastination in order to work on what you are working towards, which I think fits perfectly during finals week. I hope others can relate to the message behind it.