WILL ROOSE, Special to The Denisonian—
As I lugged the thirty-pound camera from one elevated hill to another, the immersion of setting up and executing a cinematic shot seemed unbroken. It was my first day experimenting with sixteen-millimeter film stock.
While I was always aware of potential obstacles, it would be the rapidly approaching BMW that spurred the very existence of this writing. She wore sunglasses, black as night as if she were preparing for a high-stakes poker game, and held a brown, elegantly wrapped bag of what I could only assume to carry a medley of deep-fried meats as the wafting odor struck me with unrelenting force.
“Do you know where East Loop is?” she asked.
A mixture of bewilderment and slight amusement washed over me. I questioned my very existence as I evolved from an amateur filmmaker to a personal tour guide specializing in lukewarm, uneaten calzones.
Joking aside, I had no idea of the specific routes that needed to be taken to get to the other side of campus.
Still, it gave me an idea of how to solve the issue of lost delivery drivers and explain why there is very little justification in profiting the “Uber Technologies Incorporation” in a place like Denison.
In just a few short years, electronic food delivery apps have been popping up like wildfire, starting with Uber Eats and eventually spawning services such as DoorDash, Grubhub, Shipt, Postmates, and traditional restaurant pickup. While zip codes and location tracking used to be the defining factor to whether or not food could be ordered, orders can now be placed from restaurants regardless of how much time it takes to arrive at a location (as long as it is within a five-mile radius).
On top of this, the amount of hidden surcharges makes delivery unsustainable for students who purchase regularly. If someone wants to order from a cafe fifteen minutes away, a minimum of fifteen dollars needs to be met, added to that a delivery fee of almost five dollars, with an added tip.
With a delivery time of forty minutes, it can be expected that your coffee, deli sandwich, and smattering of snacks have been sitting in a stranger’s car long enough to lose temperature, freshness, and overall quality by the time it gets to your door (assuming that your driver can find their way).
Disregarding recent controversies — including the Uber corporation understating their environmental impact and unethical treatment towards drivers — the countless eatery options on campus and in the neighboring area of Granville make this service especially unnecessary.
I have yet to hear a counterargument steeped in logic or any sort of emotion other than being “hangry” during the unearthly hours of the morning. Of course, there is no shame in being a night owl burdened with a schedule that doesn’t allow mealtime, but deciding to ravenously consume reheated pizza at two in the morning at the expense of underpaid cooks and drivers seems unnecessary.
As to the problem of drivers finding the hidden dorms, I believe a specified pick-up area with implemented signs and lockers would be efficient, saving trouble where there could be none. Perhaps this would, at the very least, make these purchases semi-warranted.