Lauren Ehlers ’24 is an English major from Chicago, IL

LAUREN EHLERS, Special to The Denisonian

On the first day of school this year, I left my dorm thirty minutes early for fear of going to the wrong building and making myself late. I spent five of those minutes finding the building, five more fixing my hair in the bathroom mirror and the remaining twenty in an armchair in the hallway trying to look busy. Bear in mind that I’m a junior and have no business acting like such a freshman. So why did I give myself all that cushion time? The answer is this: I transferred colleges in the middle of last year and am still getting acclimated to Denison. This is the first fall semester I’ve ever attended here.

That being said, the rest of my week was kind of strange. I needed someone to point me toward Talbot Hall, could barely find my guitar lesson in Eisner, and was reminded that I still can’t differentiate between half of the buildings on East Quad. Weirdest of all, however, was observing Aug-O and feeling both a bonding solidarity with and a natural seniority over Denison’s newest class. How is it that I’m halfway through college but it only feels like my first year? As I navigated the colorful rows of Involvement Fair tables and general human
congestion, I felt my own quiet initiation and felt excited at the promise of the semester.

Of course, there are still some parts about being a transfer that aren’t ideal, as exhilarating as it is to start fresh. When people talk about memories of Shorney or how much social circles have changed over the years or that whole marriage pact thing that happened that one time, I remember that I’ve got no clue how everything’s come to be the way that it is. I’m still getting to know people, and they’re still getting to know me. 

Now it’s just funny to think that the amazing friends I’ve found here had already done the hard work of finding each other before I even knew they existed. It’s because of them that I’ve never regretted making the switch; instead, I exclusively mourn the fact that it took me so long to decide that I wanted to. In that way, the experience of feeling dissatisfied, wanting change, pondering that change, and then actually making it happen has taught me a lot.

In the simplest terms, I know now that toughing it out can be overrated. If you’re unhappy and have the power to change your situation, do it. Don’t let the expectations you think people have–or the fears you know you have–keep you from improving your life. So what if transferring schools is scary or you’re afraid to start a new job or you don’t know if you can really pull off bangs. Fill out the application, take the interview, make the hair appointment. Deciding to come to Denison last year was difficult and uncomfortable at times, but, because I made that call, I’m better off now than I was this time last fall. For that, I’m happy to play catch-up.