TAYLOR TRIMBLE, Staff Writer—
Upon coming to Denison, I was excited about the many opportunities that the collegiate lifestyle has to offer. From the academics to the extracurriculars to the newfound freedom away from my parents, I was thrilled. However, as thrilled as I was to be in a new environment that seemed to have unlimited opportunities, it turned out this new environment was not all too exciting for me.
Attending a predominantly white institution, I knew the risks. I knew the likelihood of being the only Black woman in the classroom, the blatant lack of adequate Black representation in organizations such as student government, and even the occasional ignorant and discriminatory comments made by both my peers and teachers. But what I was not prepared for was the overtly dehumanizing comments about Black women I would constantly face as I began to start dating and partaking in hookup culture.
I had not started truly dating or engaging in consistent flirtatious and sexual behaviors until I attended Denison, so I initially attributed such dehumanization to the fact that I was attending a predominantly white institution. Upon talking to other Black women on campus, however, it became quite apparent that the unjustified disdain for Black women for simply existing was a shared practice among various men belonging to different racial and ethnic groups, not just white men.
I will present a series of statements, some direct quotes even, that both my peers and I have experienced and witnessed and then unpack the problems with all of them.
To the Black men who say they “don’t associate with dark skin Black women.”
There’s no such thing as too dark, but there is such a thing as internalized racism and self-hatred. To try to punish an entire sub demographic of Black women to make yourself feel better and disguise your internalized racism and self-hatred is reprehensible. Anti-racist initiatives strive to eradicate barriers for Black people but continue to push Black men to the forefront of such initiatives as if Black women don’t exist. This is quite interesting, as Black women heavily contributed to the fight for equal rights; think of Ella Baker, Rosa Parks, and Harriet Tubman. It’s quite comical to think that we as a community find a way to further divide ourselves with colorism and sexism, as if Black women did not fight for the advancement of Black men. But it’s even more amusing to see that such respect cannot even be reciprocated to Black women.
To the white men who defend their friends that actively make prejudiced, ignorant comments about Black women, but continue to feel entitled to Black women both sexually and romantically:
To actively disregard someone’s identity and then feel as if you are entitled to sexual and romantic favors is not only highly problematic, it’s downright disrespectful. You cannot confidently say you’re allies or anti-racist if you are complacent with ignorant or discriminatory comments made about Black woman but continue to pursue Black women sexually as if their sole purpose is the sexual gratification of men, which I hate to break it to you: it’s not.
To non-Black POC men who say, “I thought you were a strong Black woman, but I realized you’re actually just weird.”
Black women do not have to play a role in any relationship just to fit a partner’s expectation, especially a role that is rooted in historically racist stereotypes of Black women. Black women do not have to be strong or stoic to be considered “truly Black.” This may be groundbreaking, but Black women are allowed to stray away from the stereotypical portrayals you see in pop culture, television, and other forms of media. We are most definitely allowed to do so without any judgment or fear of being labeled “weird” from someone who cannot even begin to fathom what it is like to navigate this world as a Black woman.
Ideally, dating should be a fun and exciting activity where you navigate feelings of attraction, romance, and affection. Yet, it has been transformed into yet another way to subordinate Black women. This subordination takes the form of discriminatory comments and extends to the expectation that Black women exist for the sole purpose of someone’s sexual gratification, all contributing to the ongoing discrimination of Black women in an unexpected realm of life.
As Black women will continue to make appearances on college campuses, particularly Denison’s campus, I urge all active participants in dating and hookup culture to partake in such activities in a manner that does not demean someone’s identity. It is a shame I must urge the campus community to simply have human decency, but I and many other Black women on this campus can personally agree that the extent to which these discriminatory comments are made call for such a request. We as Black women deserve better, and I personally will not stop asking for it until I see change.
Taylor Trimble ‘24 is a politics and public affairs major with an education minor from Chicago, Il.